We are currently in the middle of attending our antenatal classes, and last night the topic was around the actual birth itself. The class was given by an amazing South African midwife who you could tell just had a passion for her job – the two hours went by so quickly.
Among all the stories she told, three stayed in my mind. When we got to the operating thatre, if we were to faint and end up on the floor, when we came around we were not to get up. If we tried to, should would put her foot on us. This is because her priority will be mother and baby, and not a quesy father who may well faint again and injure himself. She would in due course, when baby arrives, bend over and show the baby – but we were not to get up.
She went on to tell us the smell of ‘broken waters’ is quote potent. At which point the midwife turned to the fathers and said we were to carry a black-bag a towel in the car just in case. Turning to the mothers, she said that this is not because the father cares more for his car, but that he is just being practical and the mothers are not to hold it against the fathers. I can see some arguments must originate around this.
The midwife also mentioned the story that while working in another city in this country, the women giving birth had forgotten to bring along her marriage certificate. As a consequence, and although married, she was shackled to her bed. Apparently it is against federal law to have a child out of wedlock – unless you can prove the baby was conceived outside of the country.
Towards the end of the session, she pointed out that she had something with her that was quite fresh, only two hours old! And if anyone normally felt queasy, then they didn’t have to look. At this point, your mind starts racing through the possibilities, and generally comes to conclusions that it can’t be what you think it is. I was wrong. It was.
The midwife withdrew a surgical bowl from some wadding and lifted out a placenta. Good news, no queasiness. She explained that there were two membranes between the mother and the baby, and the surface on the baby side was incredibly smooth. Snaking out of the placenta was what was left of the umbilical cord – I shouldn’t really say this, but at this point, think Alien films. It was explained to us that as part of the checks for new born babies, they look for three veins in the cord – two that look like frog eyes, and a third one. And I can vouch for the fact that the two looked like frog eyes.
So far so good, but at this point the midwife turned the placenta inside out, to the side away from the baby. Very very different.
The blood was very rich in colour, there were organ-like objects on the outside, and generally it looked unpleasant – intakes of breathe emanated from around the room – but it was fascinating all the same. One of the mothers-to-be in the front row swapped places with her husband so as not to be quite so near.
It is a wonder, that we have developed all these systems in the human body that enable humans to produce offspring. I wouldn’t have missed this for the world, and would recommend all parents-to-be to attend a session like this.
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